Maybe we all just need to chill the fuck out about weddings?

There's a post on Refinery 29 today entitled "26 Wedding Rules You Might Not Know." I won't find fault with the post itself (it's a garden-variety wedding etiquette post, of the type that appears every time Wedding Season rolls around) but it did get me thinking about the question of what is and isn't good form for weddings, be you on the wedding-having or wedding-attending side, and whether or not any of this nit-picky etiquette stuff actually matters.

Based on the number of articles, magazines and blog posts that exist telling people what to do and not do, and maybe more importantly the number and passionate nature of the comments posted in reply to them, there are many and varied and sometimes conflicting rules for weddings. If you're the couple getting married, this is supposed to be your Special Day where everything is exactly as you want it to be and your only obligation should be to bask in the glow of your shared love. BUT! if you don't greet each and every guest personally, if you have a cash bar despite the exorbitant amount that the venue wants to charge for liquor or a bartender or if you don't allow plus ones, thereby incurring expense for the privilege of having complete strangers present at your nuptials, you might be Doing it Wrong. And this is not even getting into the question of gifts - how much can you expect people to spend? What if you want a honeymoon registry instead of a registry at Target? Who are the gifts about anyway, the couple or the guests? So really, It's your Special Day where everyone bows to your wishes until someone thinks one of your wishes is tacky, at which point it's open season on shit-talking.

And guests run into their own opportunities to be shit-talked as well. Does the cost of attending the destination wedding atop Mount Kilimanjaro mean that you'll have to cash in your 401k to make it happen? How do you tactfully turn that invitation down? Did you bring a gift to the ceremony instead of sending it ahead of time? What the hell were you thinking?

All this shit just makes me feel tired, which is why my husband and I opted to get married at the courthouse with fewer than 20 people present instead of wading into the manners quagmire that is planning a wedding. But really, I think everyone needs to chill the fuck out. So your friends want cash instead of toasters for their wedding - so what? You're allowed to roll your eyes, but it is really worth getting your knickers in a twist over? Chill the fuck out. Maybe somebody showed up in a white dress - so what? You don't have to be thrilled about that, but does the presence of another white dress mean that you're somehow not the one getting married anymore? Chill the fuck out.

This is supposed to be a happy, fun time where everyone present (even the plus one strangers!) get to celebrate the commitment that these two people are making to each other. If one teeny-tiny aspect of the occasion doesn't meet with your exact expectations, let it go and focus on the positive aspects. It probably doesn't matter anyway.

Chill the fuck out.

Let's make soup stock!

I learned how to make soup stock from my mom so long ago that I don't actually remember learning it. It was always just sort of something that I knew how to do. Much later, while my husband was working in the kitchen of a fancy schmancy restaurant, he brought home a few fine-tuning tricks. So here you go, chickadees, it's my trial and error-ed system for soup stock production.

Fair warning: This takes a LOOOOONG ASS TIME. You'll need to let the stock simmer for many, many hours (or overnight) then let it cool, then strain it, then let it chill. You don't have to be paying attention to it the whole time, but be aware that if you need it a couple of hours from now it will not be ready. Also, this does involve letting something simmer on your stove for the better part of a day or longer. So take the weather and your willingness to run the AC into account. I got around this by putting it on in the evening and letting most of the simmering happen at night when it was cooler, but to be honest I usually get around this by doing it in February, when the house can use all the warming up it can get.

So. Now that you're willing to make this your life for the next couple of days, and steam up your home in June, here we go! 

What you will need (Ingredients):

1. A Big Ass Pile of Bones. I like chicken bones best for this because they smell the least horrific while they're in the stock pot, but you can used any kind. I don't really have any suggestions for how to acquire the bones except to save them in the freezer whenever you dine on a bone-having creature. I actually do this, to the point where I've put a bowl in the middle of the table when we've had dinner guests and told them to save the bones in the bowl. Laugh all you want, I am convinced that the bones from fried chicken make the best soup stock and if someone is grossed out by my chicken bone hoarding we probably won't work out as friends anyway. 
2. A Big Ass Pile of Vegetables.  Again, you can really use whatever you have on hand. I take this opportunity to use anything that's past its prime but not moldy and also to clear out any random frozen vegetables that I might have. I never remember actually buying them, but somehow there's usually a bag or two of frost covered plant life kicking around my freezer. Into the pot it will go. Note: I am including in this category the plants that you'll want to add for flavor, such as garlic, onions and any herbs that you might have on hand. 
3. A Big Ass Pitcher of Water. Self explanatory. What else are you going to boil everything in?
4. Salt.
5. White Vinegar. 

What you will need (Equipment):

1. A Really Big Pot With a Lid. It needs to be big enough to hold all of the aforementioned ingredients. It needs to have a lid that fits tightly enough that there won't be little steam jets escaping during the boiling time. If there are little steam jets escaping you can still make it work, you'll just need to keep a close eye on the water level. I use the seven quart cast iron dutch oven that is artfully photographed above.
2. A Cookie Sheet. You'll see what this is for.
3. A Strainer of Some Kind. I actually use three (you'll see when we get to that step) but if you only have one you can make do with that. 
4. Containers to Hold the Stock During the Straining Process. Mixing bowls, pitchers, whatever you have on hand will probably be find. Just be sure you're using the biggest containers you have. 
5. Containers for Storing Your Stock. Unless you plan on consuming all of it at once, you'll probably want to portion it out and freeze it. I find that it's better to portion it out BEFORE you freeze than after, since that way you can just thaw what you need. Since my husband likes a specific kind of sandwich meat that comes in Gladware (I bet this is trademarked!) containers, I have billions of them hanging around and will be using them. In the past I've had good luck with quart-sized Ziplock (probably also trademarked!) bags as well. 

All right! Now that we've gathered our stuff together, it's time to begin!

MAKING THE SOUP STOCK

The first step is Roast the Bones. This will give the finished product much more flavor by browning the bones and rendering out some of the fat. Preheat your oven to 350 and spread the bones on your cookie sheet like so:

Bonus: You can see by the little light that I've preheated my oven!

Now, put it in the oven and let it sit there for a while. If you have an uneven oven you might need to rotate it from time to time, but otherwise you can just set a timer and forget about it for the time being. Here is what my finished bones looked like after an hour and a half in the oven:

It's a little difficult to see due to my less than awesome camera, but the roasted bones and the bits of meat still attached to them are browner and crispier. What you can't see at all but I assure is there is the wonderful smell, which is how you're really know when they're done. When you house starts to smell like roasted chicken, it's time to take the bones out of the oven and move on to the next step...

...The next step being to Put the bones in the pot and move on to the vegetables. The time has come to bust out whatever vegetables you're planning on using. As noted above, I like to take this opportunity to use any vegetables that are maybe past their prime but not rotten. Just cut them into chunks and throw them in the pot. (Some people save potato peels and such in the freezer to use for stock. I have neither the patience nor the freezer space to do this, so I compost that stuff, but if you're more hardcore than me and have a giant freezer that's an option.)

This time around I had some celery that was getting a little bendy, some carrots and a lump of frozen stuff called "Japanese blend" that I think had some onions and mushrooms in it but I'm really not sure because it was coated in frost. None of that was pretty enough to warrant a picture, but into the pot it went.

I did get a picture of these, though, because they are kind of pretty:

Here are some oregano and garlic chives from our garden, as well as many, many cloves of garlic and a dried out pepper that's been hanging around the produce basket for a while. I cut the herbs up with scissors, removed the peel from the garlic cloves and crushed them with the flat side of a knife and left the pepper whole. After that, into the pot!

As you can see, the pot is getting pretty full. It is now time to add water and start the boil. If you have a bigger pot or smaller amount of ingredients than I do, you can add enough water to cover everything. Since I would have been in danger of overflow if I'd done that, I added enough water to mostly cover everything and counted on the fact that the vegetables would become more limp and sort of collapse the longer they were boiled. 

At this point you will also need to add your salt and vinegar:

I don't know how organic vinegar differs from non-organic vinegar, but my husband brought it home from work and one simply does not look a gift vinegar in the mouth.

The salt is for flavor and the vinegar is partly for flavor and partly because the acidity dissolves the bones more that water alone can, which means more boney goodness in the finished product. I added about a quarter cup of vinegar and couple of tablespoons of salt (I know that sounds like a lot, but keep in mind that this is a seven quart pot that is filled almost to the brim).

Now, put the lid on the pot and bring it to a boil. Once the water is boiling, reduce the heat to a simmer and leave it alone. This is where having a heavy lid with a good seal comes into play. The lid of my cast iron pot weighs enough that I didn't need to worry about the water level because none of the liquid was evaporating out of the pot. This also means that more of the heat from the burner stays in the pot so I could keep the burner level low. If you notice that there is steam escaping you just need to keep an eye on the water level and add more as needed because of all of the water evaporates your bones and veggies will scorch. 

Here's what my stockpot looked like after about three hours of simmering:

You can see the knob in the background - looooooow heat!

And here's what it looked like after simmering overnight, or for about 14 hours:

The veggies have basically turned to mush and the stock is done. Remove it from the heat and let it cool for a while. Like, a several hours kind of while. You do NOT want to strain it while it's still hot unless you like getting splashed with recently boiling droplets. Once everything has cooled to room temperature, it's time to strain. 

STRAINING THE SOUP STOCK

Start by setting up your strainers and containers. I have three of them that get progressively finer. Strainer The First is basically a colander and I use it to separate the liquid from the big stuff.

It's a little hard to see, but I've got it sitting in a large metal mixing bowl. This setup is good because I don't have to hold the strainer with one hand a lift the heavy-ass pot with the other - I can use both hands for the pot. BUT, pay attention to the liquid level in the bowl. I usually end up with more stock than the bowl will hold so when the bowl is full I have to empty it into the second step of the straining process. 

Strainer The Second is a finer, wire mesh strainer:

It does a pretty good job of catching a lot of the bone bits and vegetable glop that fit through the holes of the first strainer. I've got this one over a one quart Pyrex (trademarked!) measuring cup. Again, watch the level in the receiving container so you don't overflow it. 

You can probably stop here if you don't have any other strainers. But I am nothing if not thorough, so I move on to Strainer The Third:

This is one of those re-usable coffee filters that you can get for like $2.99 at the grocery store set inside the basket of an old drip coffeemaker set inside a pitcher. It's a really fine mesh and catches the smaller bits of bone and vegetable glop. This step can be a little tedious because you have to keep stirring the liquid in the strainer, otherwise all the solids will settle at the bottom and it won't strain. I think it's worth it, but if it's too much of a pain in the ass you don't have to bother. 

I have to do the straining it waves because I don't have enough containers big enough to hold the whole batch at once. So I strain some the first strainer, and put that through the other two before going back and putting the rest of the batch through the first. You'll probably need to find your own best way to do it based on what containers you have available. But once you're finished you should have a container (or possibly more than one) of stock. Put your container(s) of stock in the fridge to chill. 

SOUP STOCK ROUND TWO (OPTIONAL)

As you can probably see from the picture above, once you've finished straining the stock, you'll be left with a colander full of softened bones and vegetable glop. If you want, you can put it back in the pot, add enough water to cover, then add more salt and vinegar, reboil and basically make a second batch of stock. I generally do this because I spend months saving chicken bones, dammit, and I want to get the most mileage out of them. The second batch is usually smaller and not quite as flavorful, but since you've got the pot and everything already out might be worth it. This time around I cut some rosemary and added it to the second batch. Once it's boiled for 14 or so hours, just repeat the straining process. 

COMBINING AND REDUCING (ALSO OPTIONAL)

When I was done with Round Two, I had this much stock:

The pitcher on the right is from the first batch and is a little over a gallon and the pitcher on the left is from the second batch. Both of these have been chillin' in the fridge and now have kind of a gelatinous consistency. Now, this is kind of a lot of liquid to store. So, I will be returning all of it to the pot and simmering it to evaporate some of the water, reduce the volume and concentrate the flavor. If you have a more manageable amount of stock (aka you don't wait until bags of chicken bones are falling out of the freezer when you open the door to do this) you can skip this step.

But first! You'll notice that there is a lighter layer at the top of each batch. This is the fat that rises to the top when the stock chills and it needs to be skimmed off. Pop the lid off, get a wide, shallow spoon an scoop the fat off the top:

It's a bit easier to do this step with the chilled stock because it's not completely liquid. Scoop as much of the fat as you can into a bowl and do whatever you want with it. I mix it in with the dog's food to give her a little treat, but if you can think of a better use for it knock yourself out. If you throw it away DO NOT POUR IT DOWN THE DRAIN because it can clog the drain and ruin your life. 

Once the fat is skimmed, dump all the stock into a pot and bring it to a boil. I'm using a different pot here because it's not nearly as heavy and you do not want this one to be covered. You want the steam that forms to escape and go make a new life for itself somewhere else. This is how much I started with:

And this is how much I ended with, after simmering for an hour:

Note the differences in the level (it's quite a bit further down from the bolts in the second photo) and also the difference in color. There's some foamy-ness floating on the surface the first photo that makes it appear a little lighter than it actually is, but the reduced stock is a darker brown. 

If you do this step, keep in mind that you might need to add some of the water back when you actually use the stock in a recipe, otherwise the flavor might be just too much. 

STORING THE STOCK

You can, if you so choose, use your soup stock right away. But you're probably sick of the sight of it by now, so you likely won't and would rather store it. It will keep in the fridge for a week or so but if you want to keep it longer than that your best bet is to freeze it. I've heard that one way to do this is to pour it into ice cube trays, freeze, and store the stock cubes in a bag in the freezer. I'm sure this works awesomely, but all of my ice cube trays are occupied making ice cubes at the moment, so it's not an option for me. In the past I've had success with one quart Ziplock (trademarked!) bags: Just set the bag inside a one quart measuring cup to hold it steady while you're filling it, the once full lay it flat in the freezer. But, as I mentioned at the top of the post, I have approximately 80,000 of those Gladware (trademarked!) containers that they sell sandwich meat in kicking around my house and will take any excuse to put them to some use. So, I just ladled the (cooled) stock into them an closed the lid. 

Keep in mind that liquids expand when they freeze, so don't fill the containers too full or the lids will pop off when they freeze and don't forget to label it with what it is and the date before you put it in the freezer.

And you're done! Several days after you began the process, you now have your very own homemade soup stock and, maybe more importantly, the next time somebody mentions a soup recipe and what kind of stock is best (what? This isn't a hot conversation topic among you and your friends?) you can toss your head and say smugly 

"Actually, I make my own"

    

So, yesterday I got fired...

...And today I have nothing but time on my hands. Since I've been wanting to have a go at blogging for a while now but didn't feel like I had the time (what with working and all) I'm choosing to see this as an opportunity to try something new.

Some of my friends have told me that the world needs to know!!! about my various DIY problem solving tricks and general random things I've taught myself to do over the years. So here you go, World! You are about to learn how to Get Shit Done with your host, Sarah.

I'll be posting as often as I can, once I've got Blogger figured out. And I've got some ideas of my own, but I am always, always, always open to suggestions! So if you've ever wanted to learn how to, say, roast your own coffee (yes, there will be a how-to-roast-your-own-coffee post coming) let me be your guinea pig.
If you've got some Shit that needs to Get Done but you can't figure out how, email me or post a comment. I'll see if I can figure it out and report back. 

And (of course) stay tuned, watch this space, same Bat time, same Bat channel, etc. More to come.